meaning/less

I look to you
and see death
yesterday. hoping
for life tomorrow.
what time or place
I find my
self in. where all
I have is fancy
and these
thoughts or dreams
halfway to reality,
or not real,
or beyond truth.
this is an echo?
rebirth of something
cold and nearly
alive it kills
me. me with this
pathetic moonlit
restlessness.

why would I want
to think this,
love you
when love isn’t
my way but selfish.
in what terms not
uncertain
could I find
your unfound
skin touching
this heartful confusion?

I think, though feelings
are meaning/less,
meaning: I don’t
fucking know
anymore.