artful suicide

an artful suicide
this . my revolving year
etched into a mashed
mental . unrest.
being here
before . not being.
mere sight or
sound my bones
rattle within . my place
is not inside
me . beyond
or through. surpassed.
this crowded arena
I burden . crammed thoughts
warring fraying
feelings. the victorious
historian lies
dead.

in no way is this an excuse.
not in these
words . symbolic lies.
all
words . hijacked
planes and the flaming
Tower of Babel.
an artful suicide
as this is spelled
out in poetic farce . force
of habit.
like revolving
around an indifferent
star . burning.
my heart?
it obeys
this physics.