waiting

waiting happens to me like this:
i watch the air thicken
a moist breath creeps along like fog
the wind whispers its mystery
caressing my skin, open like wings,
and i am a cloud
holding shadows in my lungs
cradling a saltless sea
flowing tears carving cavernous sorrow
flash-flooding joy into those canyons,
sudden with intensity

i watch the sea roll into oblivion
i wait for it to cease...
when will it ever cease?
so i
w a i t ,
it happens in s l o w ,
delicate
in cre ments...
between breaths the sea sighs,
if i listen closely
i can hear silence--
insubstantial--
like the taste of sleep,
that void between waves.
it waits for me to nod off
and then it happens all over again,
without cease.

waiting happens to me in this way:
i watch myself dissolve
as the moon pulls my blood
into the sea's tide
and i span the shore,
floating in a dream of sinking,
encompassing the depths,
one mind to wait
another to watch