to yearn for no one

waking time, and
hand me the wind.
dance to tick-tock
but leave me no time to finish.
    where did i leave off?
    i haven't even started yet
    my footprints are behind me.
i am so long
in the distant fog,
seeking you i find
my selfish perpetuity.
 
    perhaps they understand,
    those trees grim with decades
    folded into seasons.
it was never gonna be
easy, was it? did
mother keep it all secret?
she made all of this.
    when i get home i will
    light the stove and stare.
    i am fire with no air.

will you ever see me?
i am perfect camouflage.
maybe i forgot our secret.
eyes of a blue dog.
    did i dream you?
    i don't believe in dreams.
    you don't believe me.
acres of grey dawn stretch
and the sky yawns. i yearn
for night so i know
you still remain. absent.
  
    i fall in love with shadows.
    i'm jealous of the light.
    i am locked in between.
time is between time, ticking.
space is surfaced with curves
from your zenith smile
eclipsing every forlorn geometry.
    my arms are spread open
    welcoming, embracing emptiness.
    you shape this void.