after thought

an afterthought,
as if
after thinking
back, retreating
in time to previous
being, seeing
things in other lights,
in a difference, a
diffuse dark retracted,
retracing steps,
retreading paths paved
to this present past
future tenses yet perceived
by these senses.

it makes no sense.

to think, things are
as they need to be.
wants and needs
dissimilar and unfamiliar.
to have left a path
for a different one.
never look back.

black magic

at times, as now,
there is no
magic. only black?
orange glows of sky
in long drawn
out light, slow
as if turning a season,
falling.

some
multitudes, faces,
tits and ass, pass
beyond, yonder
or farther
away, distant
like this
apparent apparition.
some
partitioned mission
to occupy another
space, or time.
but this is not
either of those.

merely
me, or who this
is really is.
possibly, it wasn’t
who you thought,
yet various remains
stain glass houses,
so i throw
stones of forgetfulness.

not remembering
why i try.

self search

searching the self
is like stalking
stones after the surf
recedes, revealing
the strata of strewn
data
that are stones,
sand, seaweed and such,
situated and sorted
according to certain
stories more
or less
sentimental or sensational.

there is no need,
no necessity,
to navigate previous
scenes of splendor
or sorrow. there should
be no certainty
to serve this selfish
penchant for petulant
pondering.

i only wonder,
does the sea remember?

time passes

when days pass,
     and time, when
hours pass, the
     minutes or
moments build
     impermanent monuments
to motionless
     thought.
when days pass,
     will we re
cognize the
     shadow of
hands striking
     a faceless
hourglass, starved
     of sand?

time is not
     in motion.
space is not
     measured.
each breath
     breaks like
waves spanning
     all shores,
rippling here
     to eternity.
i am only
     a wave,
only a brief
     glimpse of a
vast sea, busy
     rearranging
this drifting wood
     seeking repose
upon salted shores
     shelled with sadness.

i do not re
     member which
way the light
     falls. my
eyes turn in
     blindness, meaning
takes on less,
     light is dark
or the moon fell
     to earth and
everything i know
     has turned
to memory,
     reliving itself
through these
     somber eyes.

all i know is,
     i have been
here before. i
     have been this
subdued flesh.
     no one remembers.   

i am dog

abandoned eyes,
melancholy
those eyes
of hopeful sadness.
such a delicate
girl
in your simple
pleasure.
you yearn
for forests
of unabated freedom.
content as
a sunlit porch.

we were in
love, you
and me, we
had a good run.
though,
in the end
i was not
good enough, i
could not
protect or
keep you; what
little i have
to offer
amounted
to nothing.

so it goes. chained
to a trailer
on wheels
going nowhere.
this poverty that
splits us, takes
us apart.

this world
is no place for us.
love cannot
prevent time
from passing. it
is no defense
against the wind,
changeable.

not a day
passes
where i do
not remember you,
missing you.
your wistful eyes
bear witness
to my soul.
we share this
sad passage. 

love, fuck you

love.
fuck you.
why the selfish?
why. when
i of you
give, so so
little, un
satisfying, un
full
    filling?
you live
elsewhere, but
when here, i
un     satiate.
today grace
is kissed, tomorrow
my lips
are sealed,
bereft.

love.
i hate
your masquerading
politics, dis
satisfaction, fickle
speech.
love.
i am
not enough?
my worth,
your terms.
me, square in
your round. un
fit.

love.
fuck you.
sometimes.
as now, when
things dry up&life
is f{r}iction.
you cover
me. my
garden feeds
none. but passing
birds.

me, this stone
floating. you,
the sea i sink in
too. i cannot
breathe under
water.

world

what a sorrowful world.
such a horrible
and happy place.
beauty astounds,
hearts corrupt.
the endless wars,
tragedies of love; wars
against love.
love in the face of wars.

bear witness to the cherry blossom!
an amphibian that sings!
fools that crow.
professing love, or
learning lies.

oh, this sea beside me,
graveyard of the drowned.
why sink
with these tears and
rise to shape clouds
that fall as hearts do
when in love, raining?
what torture!
what unbearable joy!

one gets lost in this place.
pilgrim panhandles
for affection.

oh world,
oh
world.